Nine Ways to Maintain Professional Etiquette in a Less Professional World
A conversation with Christy Kahn, EctoHR
For our eighth episode of the Pro Concepts podcast, I sat down with Christy Kahn of EctoHR, our own HR partner here at PCIA. EctoHR is a human resource outsourcing and consulting firm based in Brighton that serves small and medium-sized businesses across the full range of HR functions: benefits administration, recruiting, employee relations, policy updates, payroll, and more. Christy works with our team directly, and I can tell you she takes great care of us.
The topic for this conversation is one I feel strongly about. Since COVID, a lot of professional habits have quietly slipped. Standards that used to be automatic have become, for many people, optional. Christy and I put together nine areas where it is worth taking a step back and asking yourself whether you are still bringing your A game.
1. Appearance
Appearance still matters. Dress codes have relaxed, and in many cases that is fine. But relaxed is not the same as careless.
Christy's advice is to always err on the side of being slightly overdressed rather than underdressed, and to know your audience. If you are walking into a client's office where everyone is in khakis and a polo, showing up in a full suit might make them uncomfortable. Dressing for the business of the day is a good rule. But if you do not know the environment yet, dress up. You can always remove the jacket.
It is also worth thinking beyond what you are wearing. Is your shirt tucked in? Are your shoes clean? If you are driving to a client meeting, is your car presentable? These things send a message before you say a word.
I think about this in terms of our own office. If I walk in and see a burned-out light bulb, it jumps out at me. Because if a client sees that, the thought they might have is that if we are not taking care of our building, are we taking care of their insurance? The people we work with are highly intelligent professionals. Everyone is expected to bring their best.
2. The Handshake
Christy and I both learned how to shake hands in college, and yes, it was a formal part of the curriculum. Because it matters.
A good handshake means eye contact, a firm grip, and clean, dry hands. Not crushing someone's hand, but not the limp, barely-there version either. Christy made a great point about not making assumptions based on who you are greeting. A firm, confident handshake is appropriate regardless of who is on the other side.
COVID changed some of this. Not everyone extends a hand the same way they used to, and that is fine. Read the situation and follow the other person's lead. But when the opportunity is there, a proper handshake still communicates confidence and respect in a way nothing else quite does.
3. Body Language
Ninety-three percent of the message we send is nonverbal. The words matter, but your posture, your eye contact, and where your attention is directed tell the real story.
In person, this means facing the person you are speaking with, maintaining eye contact, and not letting your eyes drift around the room. If you are at a networking event and you are constantly scanning over someone's shoulder while they are talking to you, that person notices. Even if you do not intend it, the message is that this conversation is not important enough to hold your full attention.
On Zoom and video calls, body language becomes even more intentional because the camera frames everything. Eating during a call, unless it is a planned lunch meeting, sends the message that the meeting is not a priority. Having your camera off when others have theirs on can feel dismissive. Christy put it well: keeping your camera on is a sign of respect.
I always come back to a phrase that has meant a lot to me over the years: people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. Your body language, in every setting, answers that question for people before you have said much at all.
4. Email
We could do an entire podcast on email, and honestly we probably should. But a few principles are worth calling out here.
Start professional and stay that way until the other party signals otherwise. Open with a proper greeting. Write in complete sentences. Never respond with a yeah or a yep, even if the relationship feels casual, because you do not know when that email gets forwarded. From a legal standpoint, an email carries the same weight as something written on your letterhead. It can work in your favor, and it can work against you.
Keep your signature line current and functional. Christy makes the point that there is nothing more frustrating than going to call someone back and finding that their phone number is missing from their signature. Check how your signature looks on mobile. It is not the same as how it appears on your desktop, and most people are reading email on their phones.
On length: keep it short whenever possible. If the email is going to be long, say so at the top and put any required action items first, not buried at the bottom. People skim. If you need something from them, make it impossible to miss.
And for difficult conversations, HR issues, feedback, anything emotionally charged, email is not the right tool. Have the conversation verbally, whether in person, by phone, or on video, and then follow up with an email to document what was discussed. That sequence protects everyone.
One more thing Christy shared that I found genuinely useful: using subject line codes to signal what kind of response is needed. Action required, FYI, review requested, and EOM for end of message or NRN for no reply necessary. Small habits like this, done consistently across a team, can reduce inbox noise significantly.
5. Zoom and Teams
A lot of us learned virtual meeting etiquette the hard way in 2020. Most of those lessons are still worth applying.
Show up early. If you are on time, you are late. Being the first one in the meeting means you have time to verify your audio and video are working before others arrive. It also signals that you value the other person's time.
Make sure what is behind you looks appropriate. Your background is part of your presentation, and a cluttered or chaotic environment sends a message the same way a wrinkled shirt does. Know your platform's functionality before the meeting starts so you are not fumbling with buttons when it matters.
6. Follow Through
Doing what you say you are going to do, when you say you are going to do it, is one of the most fundamental professional standards there is. And yet it is one that slips more than almost anything else when people get busy.
Christy's practical advice: if you cannot follow through on the expected timeline, say so proactively. Set the expectation early, give an alternative, and then meet it. I understand you need this by two o'clock. I am fully committed until four. Can I get it to you this evening? That kind of communication prevents disappointment and keeps trust intact.
From a liability standpoint, a breakdown in follow through and communication is the most common root cause of claims across every professional discipline I work with. Law firms, CPA firms, design firms, insurance agencies. It does not matter what the service is. Communication failures are where problems start.
7. Handwritten Notes
I know this might sound old school. I am making the case for it anyway.
A handwritten note stands out precisely because it is rare. When someone takes the time to put pen to paper and write something specific and personal, it registers differently than an email or a text ever will. People like getting mail. Even if they know a card is coming, there is something about holding it in your hands that an inbox notification cannot replicate.
For anyone interviewing for a position, send a handwritten thank you note. Employers notice. I notice. An email is fine, but it is not the same. The extra step communicates that you understand the value of going beyond the minimum.
Christy's point about making the note meaningful is worth reinforcing. A generic "thank you for your time" is better than nothing, but a specific, personal message is what actually makes an impression. Take the thirty seconds to make it real.
8. Listening
Christy and I are both talkers, so this one was a good reminder for both of us.
When you are thinking about what you want to say next instead of actually listening, the other person picks up on it. Conversations start to feel like two people waiting for their turn rather than a genuine exchange. High-energy people are especially susceptible to this because something in what the other person says triggers a thought and the instinct is to jump in immediately.
The discipline is to let the other person finish. Take in what they have said. Let the conversation move at a pace where both people feel heard. Two ears and one mouth is a saying for a reason.
Listening well is also how you build the kind of trust that sustains long client relationships. People share more with advisors who genuinely listen, and the more you understand about a client's situation, the better you can actually help them.
9. Looking Out for Others
This one might be the most important and also the most overlooked.
Not everyone who does something unprofessional knows they are doing it. Sometimes it is a gap in experience or exposure, not character. If you notice something and you are in a position to kindly redirect someone, do it. The way you would want someone to do it for you.
I think about this personally. I was quiet coming up, uncomfortable in new situations, and the moments that changed things for me were almost always someone else reaching out first. A friend who invited me in when I was clearly on the outside. A mentor who told me the truth about what I was doing wrong. Those small gestures have a way of being defining moments for people, even if the person doing them does not realize it at the time.
Watch for the person who walks in looking uncomfortable. Invite them to sit down. Start the conversation. You do not know what that moment might mean to them.
Professional etiquette is not about being stiff or rigid. It is about communicating that you take seriously the relationship you have with the people in front of you, whether that is a client, a colleague, a new hire, or someone you just met. The standards have gotten softer over the past few years, but the expectations of our clients have not. These nine habits are how you close that gap.
To reach Christy Kahn and the EctoHR team, visit ectohr.com, email hr@ectohr.com, or call 810-534-0170.
To reach PCIA, visit pciaonline.com or call 800-969-4041.